A letter to my first

My dearest little prince,

I'm sorry for getting frustrated at you when you throw food over your high chair as I am trying to feed you breakfast. I know you want to eat all the grapes. I simply want to keep your diet balanced and healthy, and also prevent you from choking from eating too fast.

I'm sorry for preventing you from helping me clean the kitchen as I wanted to get the job done quickly to move on to other matters. I will slow down, teach you how it should be done, and help you feel more appreciated for the efforts you put in to spending time doing things I'm doing.

I'm sorry for not engaging in your newest trick more than a couple times when you wanted to keep going until it got old. It really was so cool, and you looked so proud every time you did it! Next time you want to try it, we can do it as many times as you want. 

I'm sorry for force feeding you peas. You leave me no choice when you don't eat any other vegetable I put in front of you.

I'm sorry for not driving home fast enough when you want our of your car seat so you can play outside despite the freezing temperatures. I admire your adoration for the outdoors, your curiosity of the world, and for wanting to keep up with me when we take walks to the park. I will try to preoccupy your time spent in the car better by turning off the radio, and singing with you the songs you love.

I'm sorry for not letting you play with the hairspray can with the lid gone missing. It's new to you, and you have seen me use it, and you want to see what the fuss is about. Just know I want to keep your little mouth off of it to keep you from ingesting something harmful to you.

I'm sorry for not letting you run around in the open field of grass outside of the Idaho Expo Center. You had been so patient with your Dad and I as we walked around with you in the stroller inside the Expo, and you wanted to play and run around. You may have not noticed the millions of duck turds in the grass, and watching you trip on the ground worried me about you putting your dirty hands to your mouth and ingesting the nastiness from the ground. We will pick a cleaner park or field soon.

I'm sorry for blocking your way in front of the street you were trying to escape to. You thought it was a game we were playing, and didn't expect my sternness to detour you away from our fun. I was trying to protect you from potential danger from running into the street.

I'm sorry for suctioning your nose and giving you bad tasting medicine. You weren't feeling well, and having something shoved up your nose must not be an added comfort. Not to mention tasting something not on the menu for your palette. Hopefully when you wake up, you will feel better.

I'm sorry for not reading you that book you held up to me crying just before bed time. I was too focused on getting you off to bed as you were cranky, and I was tired. When you wake up, we will read it 5x over. 

I promise to slow down, to play more, to read with you, to teach you, to clothe, bath, and feed you, to play, and to love you eternally. 

Love, Mom